Spontaneous Exclamations: Welcome to the Real World, Where are Your Pills? Part 2

Adam Katz is a senior associate at Harrison & Held LLP.  He concentrates his practice on federal & state tax matters, commercial finance, mergers & acquisitions, entity structure and formation, and non-profit law.  Adam can be reached at (312) 753-6110 or akatz@harrisonheld.com.  Comments on all posts are welcome.

DISCLAIMER: This article is focused on the abusers of amphetamines who do not have legitimate diagnoses or prescriptions. It follows yesterday’s Part 1 article.

A second and viler problem is the law schools’ complicity with illegitimate amphetamine usage and medical diagnoses.  Many law schools grant those students with diagnoses extended or unlimited time to complete timed final exams.  Again, I’m not targeting those with legitimate diagnoses, but apparently it’s simple to either fake symptoms for diagnosis or find a health-care provider who will give you the golden ticket granting extra/unlimited exam time.  While the risk is low that a student will get caught faking a diagnosis (what law school will attempt to question what could be a legitimate disability?) the reward is extremely high — a much easier chance at that “A” without reporting to potential employers that the student had eight hours to complete exams as opposed to the professor’s mandated two-hour limit. 

For those with that “anything to get ahead” attitude, how attractive is the time extension?  One of the main reasons why law school exams are so difficult is the fact that you have to write three or more essays in a ridiculously short amount of time.  Without a time limit, many exams (at least most of those I took) would have been significantly easier, and I won’t even mention how easy those two hour open-book or open-note exams would have been if I had six more hours to finish … and juicing can make sure your energy to focus is unbreakable for the entire six hours.  However, how are law students supposed to police the diagnosis fakers?  They can’t without risking lawsuits if they mistakenly target those with legitimate diagnoses.  Again, I suppose the answer is establishing severe consequences for the fakers since there’s not much of a way or incentive for law schools to investigate. 

It’s a shame though … makes you wonder how many top students snatching up the best jobs accomplished this through juicing and exploiting the unlimited exam time exemption?  But back to reality, once you’ve earned that top 10 percent GPA and are now working arduous hours at your top law job, how are you going to focus for those 2,200-plus billable hours throughout the year? 

I bet you’re going to reach for those pills … but how many can you take to keep you going for 19 hours straight?  Uh oh, you may actually have to use your body’s natural energy to focus … and, boy, has that deteriorated since you got hooked on the pills.  Now it’s noon and you’re getting started on the project that will take you all night to be turned in no later than 8 a.m..  You have no pills left and a stack of papers in front of you.  You start reading, but five minutes later, you check GChat … and then Facebook … then Twitter … then start reading the news … then play your turn on that drawing game on your phone … read another five minutes worth from the stack … wait, is that pizza? … Did I feed my dog? … Wait, I don’t have a dog … I wonder what Wilmer Valderrama is doing right now? … Bunk beds are cool! … And the clock strikes midnight.  Only ten minutes worth of work done in 12 hours, oops.  Welcome to the real world, where are your pills now?

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